Abide.

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Like the spring,
Like the spring,
Coming to me,
You run.
You run.

You run toward me.

Many questions have I asked,
And you seem silent still.
But today I know.
I know.
I know.

You are with me.
With me.
With me.
You are good.
Still, you are good.

I breathe.
I breathe.
I rest.

You are good to me.

You give me words.
You give me life.
You give me joy inside,
Inside your vine.

Here it is that I abide.

I have set the Lord always before me; 
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad,
and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure. . .
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:8-9, 11 ESV

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Your Girl.

Nicaragua 2013 257My favorite part about traveling to the city is searching for planes on the horizon. In a little more than a month, I’ll find myself above the earth too, bound for Peru. The city lights will fade and the atmospheric pressure will fall as I climb high into the Andes. And I’ll travel low into the sticky hot jungle, near ones I’ve only dreamed about. I’ll dance in the dust with bare feet, smiling along side beautiful faces. I’ll find you. And I’ll find me. Cristiana. The adjective for Christian. Life will be beautiful once more, because I will be immersed in it, heart, soul, mind. . . with all of my being. Life will sink into me so deep that I’ll feel it flood my every capillary. I’ll really be alive.

Nicaragua 2013 646Something drastic happens when all of my heart is all into you. When I am serving you completely, I find that I am complete. I belong. I’m not awkward or clumsy. I just am. I breathe and I live and I find my being. Only when I do what you did; what you do everyday.

I’m ready for this adventure, God. I’m ready to see where we’re going. I’m anxious to feel you burning in every cell of my earthly shell. On the fringe I stand again. I look down and around and forward. And I see you. What a flutter, what a thrill!

You are my one true love, my one true God. And I am your girl.

It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard about Christ and got our hopes up,  he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.

Ephesians 1:11-12 The Message.

Nicaragua 2013 1105

Christmas Chaos in Poetic Perspective

If you haven’t already noticed, I love poetry. I consider myself a poor little poet, full of stupid little poems of my own. In school this year, I was introduced to the unimaginably vast world of stanzas, ballads, couplets, and alliteration, as well as many other things. At first I was overwhelmed at how little I understood real poetry, but I also have come to understand that poetry is best when it is simple and natural.

One form of poetry I learned about was a ‘found’ poem. You take snatches of prose, or everyday language, and piece them together to form a rather different type of poem. (This was taken from Wrtier’s INC., one of the best books on writing of which I am acquainted.)

I was lying in bed, thinking deep on the boisterousness of Christmas and I came up with my own ‘found’ poem quite easily. My brain always works better when my body is suppose to be resting. I found it interesting, and thought you might too.

I call it, “christmas CHAOS.”

Merry Christmas.Lost Christmas.Give a Garmin.Get a Garmin.Buy a tree.Seize the deal.Shop here. Get here.Consume here.Spend less here.Get a happy holiday here.

Gain a world here. Loose a soul here.

-christianna

Afternoon in Autumn.

20131106-135004.jpgRushing across the earth, the wind rubs against my ears. My hair flys away from my face, in search of wonder and a pair of wings, which are both readily supplied. I want to run away and grab a plaid flannel blanket for a picnic with only the wind for company, and maybe a time-worn book. Above my head, the clear blue sky sings of happy, bright days. My heart longs to rise with it and feel the thrill of being on top of all things. The sound of a squirrel brings me back to brisk earth. He is scuttling about, seeking food for the coming winter months. As they descend to the ground below, golden leaves dance in the air, delighting in the wind and the last day of life. My eyes wander up into the graveyard, full of venerable grey stones. They stand erect, clothed with the beauty of faded years. As they share stories with each other, they reveal what it means to live and die happily.

Today, I realize that life doesn’t depend on feelings. I know that the horizon holds the promise of a new, brighter day, even though my emotions forecast a future bleak like a winter evening. Past all the death and dying of now, I can see life. It floods my being even here, in today. I know that I can rise, on wings like eagles, and feel you close to me no matter the weather of my spirit. Through the desolate days of wintertime, I will know that you will be here, at my side for all time.

I find hope and joy, as well as myself, in the quietness of an afternoon in autumn.

Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 NLT

-Christianna

only you.

I sit in darkness,
Chin propped on knee,
And I think of you.
Somehow,
It’s easier to meet with you in the darkness,
In the quiet and loneliness.
As my eyes start burning,
My heart catches fire too.

I love you.

You are the force behind my life,
The element that makes up my being.
And I long to see you again,
To hear your soft, loving words.
I wish I could train my roaring mind to find quiet,
So I might find you.
Will you come and find me tonight?

This might sound too much like a sick love letter to some.
So it is, I say.
You are the only one in whom I am truly interested.
My heart cries out for communion with you,
My soul longs to be more like you.
And yet somehow I find myself slipping away.
Please pull me back in again.
Quiet me with your song.
Let’s go and rediscover that place which we alone know.
I want to find you.

When I venture here,
In your arms,
I find that you truly are all that I need.
It is here, in the unknown,
The secret, the forbidden,
The intimate,
That I realize the world isn’t so loud after all.
You are stronger, brighter,
Than any thought they could ever think of me.
Suddenly, they do not matter any longer.
It is truly only you.
And I rejoice, knowing that I belong to you,
That your name alone is inscribed on my heart.
Who else could care for me so well?

So here I am,
Sitting in darkness.
Tonight,
There is warmth inside it.
And this brings light into my heart,
Only because of you.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me lie down in green meadows;
He leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
Bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me

Psalm 23:1-4