Although I’ve always possessed big dreams for my life, none of them entailed a bachelor’s degree–and so they didn’t included public school. My dreams were simple. They were plain. And they were within my capabilities. Maybe that’s why you had other things in mind–things that required your strength to overcome.
Maybe that’s why you wrecked my little plans for high school.
Because I had always imagined myself all comfortable and content. I thought I would stretch out beneath my home-hearth, reading books and learning new things–like young and lanky Lincoln in the wilderness of Illinois. I had unconsciously planned and plotted each point along the number line of my youth, and each point was wrapped around homeschooling.
After I began this school year, these dreams I had for me were dangling between my fingers like broken threads. And until this week, I had kept my knuckles curled around them so they couldn’t be taken from me–even though they no longer possessed any potential.
Because I realized something this week: to take a step forward, I’ve got to let you weave the threads. These broken pieces of dreams to which I cling are selfish… So I’ve got to let you work. I’ve got to give up each small part and put it in to your large hand. Then you can expertly weave something beautiful out of these broken threads–out of my broken, self-centered dreams.
Who was I to ever think I could create my life–and produce something good? Who was I? Master of my fate… captain of my soul?
It was you.
All along, it was you and this is why I am here now–because you have plans for me. You have hopes and dreams for my life just as I did, but better. Your dreams are selfless and long-lasting. Yours are you; they are wrapped around yourself and you are the center. And when you are the center, all things are good.
So maybe not everything is easy. Maybe not everything is desirable or comfortable. But these days are good.They are good because you created them and they are yours. You spoke them into motion and since it was you, they are going to be full of wonderful things.
In the beginning of time, you also spoke the world into motion. It was good. But then sin contaminated the circumference of it all because we stuck our fingers into the things you created. By playing god, we broke it all–ourselves and everything else inside this world. The threads were left in shreds.
But this is love–and this is life and the gospel and you–that while we were still sinners, and while we were broken, Christ died for us so that you could reshape us. You could weave our brokenness into something good again.
So this is me: one of the broken, clinging to my broken-thread dreams.
And. This. Is. You: mender and redeemer and healer of the broken things in this world.
Because of this week, I have come to understand you take the broken people, the broken dreams, the broken words, and you weave them into new masterpieces.
The shredded threads of my life are in your hands, and you are turning them into gold.
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. –Ephesians 2:8-10