That very first day of public school was taken by storm. I woke up smiling. I ate my breakfast quick. I walked through the doors of my biggest fear with a smile on my face and a peace in my heart.
But that first day had a tomorrow. And that tomorrow saw me wake up to fear and trembling. I couldn’t eat. I shook in my shoes. I walked into school dreading the thought of all things new. And uncomfortable. And apart from my safe place. In my journal, I wrote, “Today I just don’t want to go… It’s hard trying to think about how often I’m going to have to be at school. Oh well. Life is life so I’m just going to have to do it.”
To me, the length of this tomorrow was an obstacle. Through the summer, I thought and was told a routine would emerge through the embers of the first week. I would fall into a happy rhythm in classes, with teachers, and at home. And although this was true, the timeline expected was extended. I woke up, day after day, week after week, not wanting to leave my home each morning. I dreaded school.
As an unexpected surprise from my Father, I was nominated for homecoming court. Because I was the ultimate “new kid on the block,” I knew I wouldn’t be voted in as the junior attendant. But two weeks ago, this factor turned the tide for me. Because of the excitement over the possibility of being on homecoming court, I woke up excited to go to school. This–this desire to go to school–was such a milestone for me; it was the breakthrough for which I had been waiting. I text one of my friends and said, “Thank you for praying for me. For the first time, I want to go to school today.” In all caps, she responded by saying she was so very, very happy for me. And truly, I felt so relieved and excited and rejuvenated. I finally, finally, finally wanted to go to school.
As of this week, we are nearing the end of our first quarter of this school year. It has only been in these last two weeks that I have felt adjusted and excited to learn and to grow within the halls of my school. It gives me great pleasure to know that I have walked through my biggest tangible fear and I have overcome. With my Father by my side–as well as many others–I have overcome. He is so good to me.
And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb, and because of the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives even unto death.