Holding My Hand

There are many things most people won’t understand about me, one of them being my education. Since kindergarten, I have been homeschooled. My parents wanted to devote themselves to the education of my siblings and I out of obedience to God. Until this year, we believed homeschooling was His desire for us. This changed in January, as God began to move our family in a new direction to reach new places.

Until a few months ago, I had never considered college, but God wanted it. He called me to the medical mission field and this meant at least four years of college. When my mom began to research college requirements, she found she was incapable of providing what I needed for high school. My family and I prayed and thought and talked much — with a peace resting on us all. Accordingly, we decided it was time for my sister and I to pull away from homeschooling, and dive into the realm of public education.

Having a clear direction, we took measures in moving forward. One of the things required was saying some goodbyes.

Yesterday was the last day of spring classes for our homeschool group. Therefore, it was necessary to hug necks hard; it felt like I was never again going to see these friends of mine. Though no one was dying, the bond that had forged our precious ties would be broken after I went to public school. Because we would have no common connection, I wouldn’t be in contact with most of them, including the two I found most dear. They might as well be five thousand miles away.


These were still the friends I loved. These were the friends with whom I could laugh boisterously. These were the friends who were just there — and that was enough for a lonely girl. Without knowing, they had encouraged, loved, and helped me in many ways. There had been a new joy found in each new semester of classes. Last fall, I thought we didn’t spend enough time together as it was. And then yesterday I had to kiss them with an indefinite goodbye — and indefinite goodbyes kill me every time.

Though yesterday made me ache in many ways, I know it’s going to be alright.

Because I am certain of God’s plan, this change is more manageable. I know He is holding my tomorrow as well as my today. Having said goodbye, I feel that I can stride into this next step of obedience. I believe this is God’s will for now and I believe He’s going to do great things in the next few years. I don’t really understand what lies around this bend in the road, but I know God will hold my hand everyday.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4 ESV


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