A Changing Life

Ever since I wrote Truly My Best Friend, Jesus has really started to change me, as I said in my last blog. He is not finished with me yet; not by any stretch of the imagination.

This past week, and maybe even the week before that, I struggled greatly. I just didn’t care. I was flippant with God and I pushed Him in a closet. I didn’t really forget about Him; I just had better things to do than dig Him out again. Because of the distance I put between us, I felt like I couldn’t come to Him and say anything. That worried me. By the end of the week, however, I started falling apart. I was breaking inside, all the while trying to hold it together for show. I was hollow and empty. I needed desperately to be renewed. I tried praying and reading my Bible, but the feelings never left.

On Sunday morning, I felt the same way, but I was filled with this one small hope: the message in youth was going to be for me. Somehow, I just knew that God had a plan for me then and He was going to change things. And boy did He.

The message was titled, “W ho Am I?” I can’t really explain why it was so special, but it was. The one thing I do remember was Chad talking about God’s unconditional love and how He loves us constantly, even after we mess up. After it was over, I talked wit h Chad and Amy and they helped me see things that I have been struggling with for a long time. They shared with me and I shared with them; I cried and i was transformed. I am so very grateful for them; they have helped so much.

A fire was ignited in me right then; a deep passion burned in my heart. I can’t even describe it re ally; it’s just there. My eyes are totally fixed on Jesus Christ alone because of w hat He has done in my life. And it is the greatest feeling in this world. Once again, Psalm 18 come s back to me. This time, however, it is a different passage, a different thought that so captures my attention. This sums everything up and describes me perfectly now:

God made my life when I placed all the pieces before Him. When I got my act together, He gave me a fresh start. Now I am alert to His ways; I don’t take Him for granted. Everyday I review the ways God works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together and I’m watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes.

Psalm 18:20-24 (The Message)

God isn’t done with me yet; by no stretch of the imagination, but I am so excited to keep walking with Him and see where He leads me.

I love you, Jesus.


2 thoughts on “A Changing Life

  1. I’ve struggled with the same thing before Christianna, and it is after those experiences that God becomes the most evident and the most powerful to me. It’s so great to have a God who we can run to, even when we’re to blame, and He is waiting with His arms wide open ready to tell us just how much He loves us and forgives us. Nothing compares!


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