Today was my first mission trip fundraiser. I must confess, this morning I was extremely worried about it all. Why? Well, (1. The weather was suppose to be bad. In the 40s and rainy. Not very good for a fundraiser which is outdoors. (2. This was my first try at something like this. I was afraid I would be in the red and not able to make what I put into it. (3. I can’t really tell you why else. I was just afraid I didn’t have my ducks in a row and I wouldn’t sell anything at all.
I spent four hours there and made a fairly decent amount of money. The only problem was that I didn’t get rid of my scarves, which is what I mainly wanted to sell. Not one. Everything I sold was donated to me for the use of selling, and that didn’t make me feel very good. Needless to say, I cried more than once today.
All week, God has been trying to teach me to “Fear Not.” Last Saturday, I was having a problem with trusting my friends, due to past experiences. it’s been really hard. Just when I needed Him, he gave me this verse “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of your widowhood.” (Isaiah 54:4) Well, obviously, I’m not a widow, but I did do some shameful things in past relationships that I regret. Now I know I can move on and change the way I do things now because of the failure of them before. I still have trouble with my friends; things still don’t go as I plan, but it’s going to be okay. Jesus is my Best Friend now.
And then today, when I was so very worried, upset, and fearful, I read this in Psalm 118, “In my distress I prayed to the Lord and the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.” It goes on and says some pretty cool stuff, but that spoke to me the most. Regardless of how much it seems like I’m going to fail, God has got me right where He needs me. He is going to supply my every need even if He uses a different method than what I wanted Him to use.
Help me, dear Lord. Keep teaching me. Please.